Well, it’s been a very productive few days full of fun, friends, surprise visits and getting things done. Rock-o-Ween was a huge success. The only thing that didn’t happen the way I wanted was that my hair didn’t turn blond despite the fact that I left the dye on it for at least a full ten minutes longer than I was supposed to. Oh well. I think the costume worked anyway.

Yesterday was beautiful, and I got to hang out with two out-of-town friends. I also got a lot of work done and did my weekly grocery shopping. BOOM. Productive.

Today, I figured out how to change the light bulb in my headlights. I also got my oil changed and my tires rotated. Now I’m blogging. See? Productivity. But the big news is that L-Josh and I registered for the 1/2 marathon yesterday!!!

So the race is ours to run, and now we just have to prepare for it.

Whew, y’all. This week has just been non-stop so far. On Monday, I taught until 1:00, and then I went immediately over to the main ESL site to prepare for and lead a training that afternoon. All of Wake Tech’s ESL sites have blogs, see, and each site has a blogger who publishes two posts a week about lessons or community events. They’re doing a great job of it, but a lot of them are fairly new to blogging in general, and the whole system just switched from Blogger to WordPress, and they had a lot of questions about how to use it. I am apparently an expert, so I gave them the answers. Well, a lot of them.

Anyhoe, I left there around 6:00 and then had Community Group at 7, so I went home for a few minutes before heading out again.

Then yesterday, I taught until 3:15, came home, planned my lesson for today, picked a chapter to read at my writing group, ran to Kinkos to make copies, and then went to the group at 7.

And today, I taught until 1:00, had a meeting at 1:30 that lasted until about 3, ate freshly baked apple pie over at my sister’s house, and now I’ve just gotten home. I have about 2.5 hours to prepare for tomorrow’s classes before I have to go to work again tonight. Like I said, whew.

I don’t think I have any plans or obligations after class tomorrow, so that’s nice, and honestly, it’s been a really good week. Being busy helps to keep me on top of things. I just haven’t had time to spend with you guys or go running, which is a shame. I’m definitely going to have to start over on Week 4. I’m ok with that, though. I’m not in a hurry, and I know I’ll get there eventually.

I know this is not a very exciting post, so allow me to share with you this video that was brought to my attention last night by G.Lover (and KimSko). It pleases me greatly. I hope it does the same for you.

Here are my daytime options for the next two weeks:

A) Work my butt off writing two articles a day so I won’t have to eat canned beans and spaghetti for the next month.
B) Hang out with friends I’m not going to get to see much after I move.

I have chosen to hang out with friends more and work less. I know that’s the stupid thing to do financially, but it just feels like the right decision. So on Wednesday I had breakfast downtown and hung out with my friend Michelle. Then I made Eden the best mix of music I’ve ever put together for her birthday.

And today I went hiking and played in a river with some friends and their kids, and although I came home in the early afternoon to do work, no work has been done because I haven’t blogged in like two days, and y’all deserve some quality time too.

By the way, I’m working on what I hope will be a really good blog post that my boyfriend Don will read and then fly me out to Portland for a weekend in September. It has to be really good, though. So that’s why I’m working on it extra. I know his love for me isn’t supposed to be based on the quality of my blog, but hey, nobody’s perfect. I judge him based on his hats anyway, so I think we’re even.

Aaaaaand now I’m off to do some research. Stay tuned for more fabulousness coming your way real soon!

Well good golly, I had completely forgotten about my formspring page until I was notified earlier today that someone had asked me a question. And let me just tell you, it’s a doozy. We have to get through several more, however, before that one can have its turn. So let’s start where we left off, shall we?

We all know the moon is not made of green cheese, but what if it was made of spare ribs? Would you eat it then? Heck, I know I would – I’d have seconds and then wash it down with a nice, cool Budweiser.

Well, Harry Caray, it appears as though you’ve forgotten at least one thing about me, and that is that I don’t eat spare ribs. I wouldn’t eat green cheese either, and as I’m sure you are well aware, I don’t like beer. If you were not aware of that, now you are. I also don’t like coffee.

Now let me ask you a question. Would you rather be the top scientist in your field or have mad cow disease?

The next “question” isn’t really question at all. In fact, I’m not sure it’s even a complete thought. It just says:

your first

I’ll be honest. I’m not really sure what you’re going for here, and I really don’t remember a lot of my firsts, but I’ll make a list and hope it meets with your approval. Let’s go with alphabetical, yeah?

My first…

• apartment – Junior year of college in an apartment complex called Pirate’s Cove. Becky, Faith and Nicole were my roommates. Ask me how I damaged the coffee table.
• boyfriend – Brandon Inscore. We dated for about a year in high school, and we absolutely were NOT making out at the bottom of the stairs after the prom in ’97 when my mom snarled at us.
  
• car – A light blue Toyota Corolla named Gloria the Disco Queen. Yes, that was her whole name.
• date – With Brandon. I’m pretty sure we went to Wendy’s and a high school basketball game. Tres romantique!
• email address – besufern@aol.com. Don’t try it. It no longer exists.
• friend – I don’t know. Probably someone at church? There’s a great picture somewhere of me and 3 other kids in our 3-year-old Sunday school class. I went to 2 of their weddings in the past few years, and I go to all of the other one’s concerts when I can.
• gynecologist visit – Don’t worry, guys, I won’t gross you out. I’ll just say that when she asked me what sort of contraception I was using, I told her abstinence. She asked me how long I thought that would last, and I said, “Until I get married.” She laughed at me and said, “Yeah we’ll see about that.”
• hair color experience – I started out with the temporary stuff, back when they still made level 1 color that would wash out in a week. I’ve dyed it so many times now, I don’t remember the first one. But it was probably red, and Jeani was probably involved.
• iPod – I bought it in NYC, in the SoHo Apple Store, just before I ran off to Europe for the first time, in 2004. I just bought my second one last summer.
• job – If babysitting counts, then that’s what it was. But if we’re talking about work for which I was paid and then later received a W-2, then that would be Caswell.
• knitting project – My grandmother taught me to knit when I was a kid. I have no idea how to start or finish a knitting project, but I can actually work those needles. In fact, in middle school, I played Beth in a drama class production of Little Women. In one scene, I sat by the fire, knitting. People were amazed by how real it looked. But alas, I don’t think I’ve ever actually finished a knitting project.
• lemonade stand – I think it was with Rebecca Booi. Her house was in a great spot, right at an intersection.
  
• musical – When I was in maybe 4th grade, my sisters and I got the soundtrack of The Phantom of the Opera on double cassette tape. We LOVED it, and the next year, we all went to New York for Thanksgiving and saw it on Broadway. So to all of you who have been (and will be) subjected to my random musical outbursts, you can thank my parents for getting me hooked early.
• NYC apartment – It was graduate housing, which meant a shared studio with a Taiwanese Canadian named Lily Lu. It was in an unbelievably amazing location that made taxi drivers jealous, but I’m still paying for it.
• origami – It might not have been my first, but I made literally hundreds of paper cranes in high school. What? I was the president of the Japanese club.
• pet – I had a fish in high school named Chip. He was more than just decoration to me.
• quadratic equation mnemonic device – It was to the tune of Frère Jacques and went like this: Minus b, minus b / plus or minus root, plus or minus root / b squared minus 4 ac, b squared minus 4 ac / over 2 a, over 2 a. BAM. Still got it. I have no idea what you use the quadratic equation for any more, but that’s how it goes. Music, check. Math, not so much.
• rifle – No, I’ve never owned a rifle, but I sho nuff did learn to shoot one at Camp Cheerio when I was 10 years old. That was perhaps the unsung verse of the Cheerio Girl song (get me to sing it for you some time).
• second language – I have a really vague memory of taking French classes when I was very young. Did I just make that up? Specifically, I remember a “cultural lesson” wherein we were expected to eat escargot, and I almost vomited.
• trip outside of the U.S. and its territories – Honduras, 2002
• UFO sighting – I’ve never actually seen one, but one Christmas at my grandparents’ house, we could have sworn Santa was on the roof with aliens, burping.
• vote – I know several people who will be very upset with me for this, but I had never voted until the most recent presidential election. I plan on voting from now on, though.
• wedding – Not MY first wedding, of course, but the first one I attended. And I have no idea. Someone in the family? An aunt and uncle, perhaps?
• xylophone? – It is very late, and these letters are getting harder. I remember having one of those rolling xylophones as a kid with the mallet underneath that see-sawed as you pulled it, striking the same two bars over and over again. I learned to play “Do-Re-Mi” on that thing.
• YouTube video – Has not yet been made, I told you. Sheesh. Give it a rest already.
• Zumba class – Also has sadly not yet happened. But it will. Oh…it will.

Well that was fun! And exhausting. I’m going to bed. Join me again tomorrow for more blogging fun!

My virtual friend Elaine just nominated me for a Versatile Blogger Award. Thanks, Elaine!! We’ve never met, but I’m totally joining her writing group when I get back to Raleigh as I’m 99.8% sure that my schedule will allow it. I’m not sure why she only nominated me for the award instead of just giving it to me. I mean, it’s not like there’s a committee somewhere voting on the matter. So what am I going to do? I’m going to AWARD Versatile Blogger Awards to some people. Yeah that’s right. I’m just handing them out. And I’m claiming mine while I’m at it, and yours too, Elaine. Because I think we’re all winners.

The way this thing works, see, is I have to tell you 7 things about myself that you don’t already know, and then I can give the award to up to 15 other bloggers (Technically I’m supposed to nominate them, but whatever. I AM the committee). Then I’ll notify them that they’ve won, and they can join the committee and give the award to 15 of their own peeps. Word. So here we go with yet another list of things about me…

1. I have never eaten steak.
2. I still know all the words to “Ice Ice Baby.”
3. I wash my pillow cases more often than my sheets because (a) clean pillow cases keep my face from breaking out as much, and (b) I’m lazy.
4. I have 3 shirts featuring pictures of my former/future boss, Dan. I’m wearing one right now.
5. I always wear undies. A bra is optional with some outfits.
6. To my knowledge, I do not appear in any YouTube videos.
7. All my cars have been Toyotas.

And now for the awarding. You know, guys, we used to just call this an activity, and we tagged other people to play along. Do we really have to “win” something now to have a little fun on the Worldwide Interweb Net? Ok fine, but if you accept this award, you have to link back to me and act REALLY excited about it all. Ok? Ok.

And the Versatile Blogger Award goes to…

• Heather of The Extra Ordinary
• Jamie, The Very Worst Missionary
• Erin, A Marketing Mama
• Elizabeth Esther
• Ben and Jacqueline

I chose these blogs because they are the best of the ones I’ve discovered the most recently. And also, even if they don’t participate in the game…uh, I mean very serious award giving…I think that they will at least not find it completely lame. And I can notify them all via twitter. Hooray!

Congratulations, y’all! I look forward to reading your random information!

Today’s first question is this:

Gain? Really, your reader demographic skews towards ads for Gain?

And my best answer is…Yes?

I honestly have no idea how my ads work. I don’t know if my reader demographic skews toward ads for cleaning supplies, or if BlogHer just has an agreement with all their advertisers to give equal time to all the products, or time commensurate with the amount of money that advertiser has paid to be a part of the BlogHer advertising network. I don’t know. I would guess, however, that the reader demographic of the entire BlogHerAds network skews in that direction, and that’s how I got ads for Gain on my site.

The next question is this:

Presuming you had a totem animal what would it be? And would this differ depending on whether you or the animal chose this relationship?

Do you mean to imply that there is a parallel universe somewhere in which animals are making totem poles of people, and an animal could choose me as its totem human? Because that’s AWESOME! Or that in this universe, animal guidance counselors are asking animal high school students inane personality test questions like “If you could be a human, which human would you be?” and the animal teenagers are thinking, “I’d be Beth,” and then justifying their answers?

I love this.

Now. I have no idea which animal(s) would choose to be me, but I think I would have to be an owl. According to this website, the owl represents deception, clairvoyance and insight. It is also a messenger. I don’t know about deception or clairvoyance, but as a writer, I fancy myself an insightful messenger. Maybe if I’m writing fiction, I could fit deception in there…or when I’m ripping off Paula Abdul.

I chose the owl, however, because of the questions for consideration asked here (and listed below).

• Have you ever felt drawn to one animal or another without being able to explain why? This could be animal, including birds and insects.
• Does a certain kind of animal consistently appear in your life? This doesn’t necessarily have to be a physical appearance, it could be represented in other ways such as receiving card and letters with the same animal pictured over and over, unexplainable dreams of a particular animal, watching television and seeing the same animal featured time and time again, or, actually having the animal show up.
• When you go to the zoo, a park, wildlife area, or forest, what are you most interested in seeing?
• Are there any animals that you find to be extremely frightening or intriguing?
• Is there a particular animal that you see frequently when you’re out in nature?
• Have you ever been bitten or attacked by an animal?
• Have you ever had a recurring dream about a certain animal, or a dream from childhood that you have never been able to forget?
• Are you drawn to figurines or paintings of a specific animal?

I have had a small obsession with owls since the fall (The fall of 2009, not the fall of man). I find myself drawing them, thinking about ways to create art that includes them, wanting to make appliquès of them for bags and jean pockets, etc. I see them everywhere – not necessarily real ones, but you know, on clothes and note cards and jewelry and things. And as you know, I have an irrational fear of birds. So while, in choosing my totem animal, I might be inclined to choose an animal that represents characteristics I think I have or hope to have one day, it seems that the owl is my animal.

Hey wait. Does that mean that the owl has chosen me? Do I need to choose a different animal now? Nah, I like the owl. So I guess to answer your question, no, there would be no difference no matter which of us did the choosing (me or the owl).

Oh. Four words, and I feel a song coming on. Getting to knooooow yooouuuuu! Getting to know allll abooouuuut yoooouuuu. Getting to liiiiiiiiiiiike yooooooouuuuuuu! Getting to hope you like meeeeeeee. Dangit. Now I have to get up and dance around the living room. Please hold.

…

Ok. That’s better. Y’all. I feel bad. I’ve been rambling on about myself for six years, and never once have I asked you to tell me a bit more about yourself. You’ve had the opportunity, sure, but you are sweet and unpresumptuous people, and you didn’t want to use MY blog to talk about yourselves. Well, it is high time you did. And I’m going to do this regularly because I want to know who you are.

Just leave me a comment answering the following 3 questions:

1. What is your go-to late night snack food?
2. Where is the next place you’d like to (or plan to) travel?
3. Would you rather (a) travel around in the shirt pocket of a very sweaty giant, or (b) always be on a horse? Why?

It’s Q&A time once again! Today’s question comes from formspring, and it’s a good one:

What’s your advice for someone who wants to start a blog but is too scared of not saying anything meaningful/too intimidated by technology/ too lazy to actually do it?

Well, this is really three questions, isn’t it? Oh what the hey, I’ll answer them all.

If you’re scared of not saying anything meaningful, I’d just like to invite you to read the past six years of Onward Hoe!, and then tell me why you think that blogging requires depth, insight and/or meaning to be worthwhile. I mean, if that’s the kind of blog you want to have, then obviously you’ll need to start digging deep into your heart/psyche for some powerful stuff. But I write about food and the gas it causes me to have, traveling and seeing water-skiing squirrels (ok I know I STILL haven’t done that), crazy dreams I have, and ridiculous things I find on the internet. Here and there, you might find something poignant or thought-provoking, but by and large, this really is not that sort of blog. And yours doesn’t have to be that sort of blog either. There are all kinds. Here are some examples:

• Humor Blogs – I hope you’re on one right now. I never really intended it to be put into a category, but I am told it’s funny, so there you go. A few other notable humor blogs are Cake Wrecks, Jennsylvania and Stuff White People Like.
• Parenting Blogs, which were originally called Mommy Blogs, but then daddies started writing them too, and it wasn’t PC or something to call daddies “Mommy Bloggers,” so we had to change it.
• Hobby Blogs – Do I really need to explain this?
• Political Blogs – These are the kinds of blogs I don’t visit.
• Pop Culture Blogs
• Celebrity Gossip Blogs
• Personal Gossip Blogs
• Travel Blogs
• Sports Blogs
• Religious Blogs
• Photography Blogs
• Blogs about blogging
• Marketing Blogs

Oh my gosh there are a million different kinds of blogs that don’t require you to have anything meaningful to say ever! Isn’t that freeing?? And here’s another little tid-bit to free you from this fear: There are well over 100 MILLION WEBSITES on the internet, so if your blog isn’t “meaningful,” it’s likely that no one will ever notice.

Too intimidated by technology, you say? Y’all. Blogging is SUPER-easy. If you can send an email, you can post a blog. I know I use WordPress software now, but honestly, if I were just starting out again, I would use Blogger.com. That’s where I started, and it walks you through every step of setting the thing up, so you literally don’t have to know anything about web design or html code or anything. You don’t have to download anything, you don’t have to install anything, you just have to do the writing. Amazingly simple. And if you need help, you can email me.

If you’re too lazy, well that’s your own fault. I don’t know that there’s a lot I can do to help you there as I’m pretty lazy myself, but here’s my thought: If you want to do something – like REALLY want to do it – you do it. We can all agree that sloth is my deadly sin of choice, and that I have a slight fear of commitment, but I’ve been blogging regularly for six years. SIX YEARS! The trick for me has been to not think too much about my commitment to the blog, but just to write what I think is funny or interesting. And I see a lot of funny/interesting things.

If you ever have moments in your life when you think, “Oh my gosh I have to tell somebody about this,” then you can blog. Like the other day, I was getting into my car to go to work. I had just eaten dinner, and I really wanted something sweet. I wondered if I had any candy in my car, and then I opened the door and saw half a bag of lemon drops in the console. And y’all, OUT LOUD, alone in my car, in a voice like Mae West saying, “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime,” I said, with regard to lemon drops, “Ring-a-ding-ding.” And immediately, I needed to tell someone about it.

Now, that is a story best told in person so you can actually hear me say it, but that’s what I’m talking about – moments when you think, “Who can I tell about what has just happened?” I have a lot of those moments, so I am rarely hard-up for material, and that is what provides me with the motivation to make it happen (nearly) every day.

If that doesn’t help you, then once again, remind yourself that if you start a blog and then don’t keep up with it, probably not many people will notice or care. At least that takes the pressure off.

So no matter what the reason you haven’t started a blog, I just want you to know that if I can do it, you can do it. If you really want to, that is.

Even if what you win is a random object from a complete stranger’s bedroom or a made-up award, it always feels good to have won something, to feel validated in some way, to feel recognized as a human being. So the other day when my friend Andrea gave me this Beautiful Blog Award, well that just made my day. Thanks, Andrea!! Right back at you!

So apparently there are rules to being a Beautiful Blog Award recipient. I’m trying to follow them. Here we go.

1. Thank the person who nominated me for this award and post a link to her blog. Yes!! I’ve already done that. Here. I’ll do it again. Lil-Kid-Things.

Whew. Okie dokie. Congratulations, BBA recipients!! You deserve it! Now everybody get back to work.

Y’all. I am SO excited to be hosting my first legitimate GIVEAWAY!!! You may recall that I came into possession of some rather shady and/or unattractive items back in January and hosted several contests to get rid of them. And although the boat show was super-rad (I know, I know, I still haven’t posted the squirrel video), and the winner of the Adam and Eve prize pack is now “coincidentally” pregnant (with twins!), those were still just sort of random things I’d been given and wanted to give away. BUT TODAY…
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