musical trainers

Posted by beth on October 4, 2007

Let’s see. So far, I’ve had:

1. The trainer who did my initial assessment when I signed up for the training. That was the only time I saw him.
2. The shady trainer who wanted to find a way to make me sweat more. I suspect he already had something in mind that didn’t involve gym equipment…or maybe it did…sicko.
3. Cynthia, who trained me for a solid five months.
4. Chris, to whom I switched when I switched gyms. They put me with him because they thought our personalities would click. They were right about that, but he ended up not showing up to at least three of our sessions within about a month.
5. Drew, who they gave me when Chris proved himself to be somewhat less than reliable. I worked with him for two sessions.
6. Kofi, who trained me today in the (unforeseen) absence of Drew. Kofi was a strange one, man. He spent the twenty minutes we had together putting me on a machine and then disappearing. He would return about the time I finished my reps and herd me along to the next machine. Once he watched me do roughly one rep on that one, he’d be off again. Confession: I started cheating after a while. Once his back was turned, I’d stop, and then I’d start again when he was on his way back. Then I’d grunt and say, “fifteen,” and he’d herd me along to the next station. Not to worry, though. They didn’t make me pay for this one, so the only thing wasted was that extra hour of sleep, and by that point, I was already at the gym, so the sleep was lost anyway.
7. Apparently, I’ll be starting with Jason (?) next week because they’re just a tad over-sensitive about my trainers all crapping out on me. “Jason” (because I’m not sure that’s his name) is apparently in line for management, so he pretty much has to be there lest he screw his career.

And this, friends, is how you get an upgrade.