I LOVE Getting My Money’s Worth

Oh friends, tonight was so enlightening. Please allow me to share with you what I learned from the Eric Kearns show.

  1. When something is free and you go ready to be entertained no matter what, you ALWAYS get your money’s worth. I’m telling you, for sheer entertainment value, this show definitely ranked in my top ten free concerts somewhere below Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Clarkson/Reba McEntire, The Avett Brothers, Dolly Parton, and Coldplay, but above the Laney High School marching band. And yes, I’ve seen all of those for zero money.
  2. There are really only six types of male singing voices. They can be combined a little bit, but in essence, they are as follows:
    – the scratchy voice (Jimmy Durante, Bruce Springsteen, Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, Neil Diamond, Steven Tyler, Elmer Fudd)
    – the Kermit voice (in higher or lower registers to sound like Rick Astley, Michael McDonald, Cher, Sammy Davis Jr. and of course, Kermit)
    – the falsetto (Johnny Mathis, Barry Gibb, Chris Martin, the guy who sings “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” and Frankie Valli…sometimes)
    – the high-but-not-falsetto (Dennis DeYoung from Styx and Frankie Valli the rest of the time)
    – the normal voice with a New Jersey accent (According to Eric Kearns, Billy Joel, Frank Sinatra and Barry Manilow all fit squarely into this category. Jimmy Durante overlaps here as well, but only because of his accent.)
    – the crooner (Perry Como, Al Jolson, and pretty much everyone else who doesn’t fit into one of the other categories. However, noticeably absent from Eric Kearns’s crooner list, in my opinion, are Frank Sinatra and Nat King Cole.)
  3. Hearing really is the first thing to go.
  4. It’s totally cool to break copyright laws at the Holly Springs Cultural Center. Through the whole show, Eric Kearns had pictures projected behind him of the singers he was impersonating. We are 100% sure that these images were Googled and pulled from the images Google returned. They were mostly concert shots and album covers. My favorite by far was a Nat King Cole album entitled “Lo Mejor de Nat King Cole.” For those of you who don’t speak Spanish (Ron Burgundy), that’s “The Best of Nat King Cole.” Eric Kearns was singing a Nat King Cole song in English. Incidentally, he was also singing it in sort of a high, scratchy voice, leading me to believe that he has never actually listened to Nat King Cole.
  5. Eric Kearns has never listened to Frank Sinatra. Ever.

Overall, we really feel like the show has potential. The problem is that Eric Kearns takes himself WAY too seriously. I mean dude, you are a vocal impersonator. Embrace that. If he had just a few little costume bits and some of the mannerisms of the people he impersonates, if he’d just ham it up some, it would be really funny (on purpose). As it was, however, we were pretty glad we went and very glad it was free.

Author: beth

I'm told that I'm cleverly stupid, and that's why people are friends with me. And here I thought it was because I was so dang cute...

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