I concede, but only a little

Posted by beth on January 20, 2008

Ok, so it got really cold, and the rain turned into snow. Fine. I’ll give you that much, weather people. But it didn’t get below freezing until today, and by that point, most of the “accumulation” was gone. And when I say “accumulation,” I mean the frosted tips of grass for there was roughly a centimeter of snow out there.

It was pretty, though. I enjoyed watching it fall as I drove down I40 to Garner to the movies. I went to see Cloverfield with some friends, and I have to say…not scary. At all.  The snow nor the movie. I actually thought the movie was kind of lame. It was interesting because of the perspective, although I’d advise against seeing it if you get motion-sick easily or are just not a fan of the hand-held camera experience (think Blair Witch Project), but apart from that, there wasn’t much to it. If you’ve seen the preview, you’ve pretty much seen the whole movie. A monster attacks New York for no apparent reason and starts eating people. Smaller monsters spawn off of it, inflicting bite wounds which cause their victims to later explode. Hip, good-looking 20-somethings dodge the thing for an hour while they attempt to rescue their injured friend from her midtown apartment. They find her unconscious, impaled on a piece of rebar which has pierced her shoulder area. They remove her from said rebar, wrap her shoulder in a cloth of some sort, and she’s up and running (literally running and surprisingly not bleeding to death…or at all come to think of it) within five minutes. Riiiiiiight.

I don’t recommend seeing this one. I mean, it is generally accepted that a monster movie will be unrealistic. It’s a monster, for crying out loud. But usually the parts about the humans are pretty true to life. When you remove a large piece of metal from human flesh, humans tend to bleed. And who has a video camera with that sort of battery life? Oh, and when you buy a new cell phone battery, it’s always dead at first and must be charged. You can’t take it out of the package ready to use like that. Sheesh.

Plus, the monster is sort of a let-down. Maybe if we knew what its deal was, it would be more interesting. Like where did it come from and why is it so pissed off at New York? Is it an immigration issue? Did his visa get denied? Geez buddy, you don’t have to rip the Statue of Liberty’s head off. You could just do what some of our ESL students do–get a tourist visa and disappear into small-town America. Sign up for ESL classes and become a painter. It’s that simple. You go around eating half of the Big Apple, and the government will surely know where to find you. That’s a recipe for deportation if ever I’ve heard one.