I am in love.

Posted by beth on April 29, 2008

Well, maybe I am just in complete shock, amazement, disbelief, etc. Yes, friends, I am watching “My Big Redneck Wedding” on CMT. Have you seen this? It’s just incredible. IN. CREDIBLE. Let me just try to give you a wee recap of the last episode.

• The bride had a “photo shoot,” which was oh-so-professionally done by a friend with a $150 digital camera from the Wal-Mart electronics department. In said photos, she was on a horse wearing only chaps. Did you catch that? On a horse wearing crotchless pants. She rode the horse to get there, and when she led it out of the stable, she brought it through the house rather than around.
• The couple rode their horses to the convenience store to order the kegs for the wedding.
• The “minister” who married them had received his “ordination” in the state penitentiary, and at the ceremony, he was wearing a t-shirt that said something like, “California State Prison.”
• The bride had purchased her wedding “outfit,” as she called it, from a complete stranger. Ebay might have had something to do with it, but I’m not sure. At any rate, rather than mailing her the “outfit,” the previous owner met the bride at a Wendy’s just off the interstate to complete the transaction.
• The groom and the best man went out to get a “wedding gift” of slutty lingerie for the bride. They found a nice, sheer, white get-up that they liked “all ‘ceptin the sleeves wuz too long, and she don’t lak long sleeves.” So after purchasing it, the two walked out to the parking lot where the best man whipped out his buck knife and chopped the sleeves right off.
• The groom got a new tattoo for the occasion. It was a Wrangler tag on his butt. Quel romantique.

Oh my gosh, I can’t even handle this. It’s so amazing.