I still don’t own a scale, so I still can’t tell you if I’ve lost any weight. However, I went to Jonya’s (JBeau+Tonya’s) wedding on Saturday, and Sharon told me I looked like I’d lost weight, so there’s that. It could have just been the effect of my new under-dress casing, a fabulous item I picked up at Kohl’s, which, incidentally is basically paying me to take things off their hands at this point. Thanks, Kohl’s! And let’s talk about this casing for a moment. I call it a casing because that’s exactly what it’s like – the casing of a sausage. I shimmy myself into it, and it holds all the jigglies together. I bought this one for three reasons.
- It doesn’t have an underwire. It has sort of a shelf bra, so if you’re looking for something to strengthen the force of your bazooms (on high ground, close together for double the power), look elsewhere. But if you’re looking to make them less likely to fly out of your strapless dress, boom. Done.
- It doesn’t have any wires or plastic piping forming a constrictive cage around my torso and making me hope no one asks me to dance and then puts his hand on my back to discover I’m wearing a brace.
- On the tag, it said, “Fat Free Dressing.” I couldn’t resist.
But back to the topic at hand. I don’t know if I’ve lost any weight, and I’ve honestly not been doing the best job of keeping track of my calories, and I’m not exercising in the classical sense, but let me tell you about my day today.
I taught for four hours, and then I changed classrooms, taking all my crap with me, which means I:
- did about 15 squats while holding foot-high piles of textbooks.
- walked up and down at least 20 flights of stairs.
- stood up for about 5 hours.
- rearranged furniture.
Then I came home and chucked old fruit out into the woods. I mean, this is like a baseball player’s normal workout, right? I’m totally eating an Oreo.