Cut the Mullet

Y’all, these questions are getting more and more bizarre. Not this one, but I was just looking at the most recent ones, and well, it’s about to get real interesting. Next week. For now, we’ve got to deal with this:

When are mullets going to come back into style? And be honest, are you counting down the days to that moment?

Dude, where have you been? The mullet has been back in style for at least five years, six in Europe. There are really two major differences I can see between mullet popularity now and the mullet popularity of olde.

  1. Many of today’s hipster trends started out as redneck and/or 80s trends, and the hipsters are now cycling them back through with a strong sense of irony. Hipsters love irony. Half of them don’t really understand what it means, but they love it regardless. Anyway, the mullet is one of those trends that was popular for a while in the 80s, and then the rednecks and big hair bands carried into the 90s, but now the only people rockin’ it are the rednecks who just can’t seem to give it up…and the hipsters.
  2. Curly mullets are OUT. Forever. And thank goodness because that is not a good look for anyone. It somehow worked for the glam bands of the 80s and early 90s, but once grunge came in, the curly mullet went out, I believe, never to return. Amen. I’ve seen a wavy hipster mullet here and there, but that is a very different animal. I’m talking about curl. A.C. Slater, Ogilvie home perm curl.

On my particularly funky hipster days, I will catch a vision of myself with some crazy hair style, and I’ll be all about it, and I might even try to get it cut that way. The last time that happened, I essentially wanted a mullet, but really what I was after was versatility. I wanted “bangs” I could sweep down from the top when I wanted bangs, but that I could push aside on days I didn’t want hair in my face – humid days.

It didn’t really work. I just sort of had a mullet. I did the bangs once, and they received rave reviews, but I could never get them to work again because my hair just does whatever it feels like doing with little to no regard for my wishes.

What I have learned from this is that I can do layers, and I can change up the color, but that is about it. Anything else either does not work at all or only works for about 2 days before the weather changes, or it gets too long to keep doing it, or I sleep on it wrong, or I don’t gel it just right, or the stage of the moon shifts, or American Idol gets a new judge. And then it’s pointless to even try.

So no, to be honest, I am not counting down the days until curly mullets come back into style because (a) I don’t believe it’s going to happen, and (b) dang. If the curly mullet ever is en vogue again, I’ll probably be too old to be among the trend-setting unless it’s only in style for women of a certain age, in which case, I still won’t get one.

Case closed.

Author: beth

I'm told that I'm cleverly stupid, and that's why people are friends with me. And here I thought it was because I was so dang cute...

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