Character Arc

Posted by beth on December 9, 2009

It’s rare that you actually get an opportunity handed to you so simply in life to take a look at who you are and how you’ve changed. Under normal circumstances, you have to make a lot more of an effort to take time out and think about such things, and most of the time, it just doesn’t occur to you to do so. But taking three months out of normal circumstances to do something so completely different really puts you under the magnifying glass to yourself if to no one else. It allows you to see yourself in a different way, to see parts of yourself you’d never noticed before, and to evaluate and re-evaluate who you are and where you’re headed.

I guess a similar thing happens whenever you experience a big life change. When you graduate from high school and college, when you get your first job, when you lose your first job, when you get married, when you become a parent, when you pack up your life and move far away, whenever you’re new at something, it grows you. It stretches and beats you in the process, but you always come out wiser and more aware.

And that’s what has been happening to me over the past three months. It’s been such a wonderful experience, and I could not be happier that I did it or more thankful for having had the opportunity. I don’t think any of the changes I’ve gone through have been apparent in either pictures or blog posts, though, so I wanted to highlight just a few for you. In the story of your life, I think it’s important to take inventory of where your character is every now and then, how she’s grown, and what she knows now that will help her in the future.

• I’m quick to judge and blame and criticize and do anything else that will make me look better than someone else, but I’m getting better at recognizing it when I’m doing it and putting myself in my place.
• I’m lazy. I’m lazy, and I’d prefer to stay that way. I want a job where I have some accountability (from a boss, a class and/or a clock) because I know it’s the best way for me to get anything done, but I don’t want to get up before 9:00 in the morning to do that job, and I don’t want to work later than 7:00 p.m. I know that this means I either need to suck it up and go to bed earlier or suck it up and force myself to work even without the accountability afforded by a more standard work environment. I just haven’t decided which it’s going to be. Don’t let me be a sloth, y’all. Even if all the rest has done wonders for my mid-section.
• I wear much tighter clothes. No, that’s not entirely true. But I do own far tighter pants now than any I’ve ever had before, and I like ‘em. And maybe I purchased a tight miniskirt in Rome that I also very much enjoy. And maybe I wear the pants inside my boots like the Italians, and maybe it makes me look hot. Maybe. I’ll let y’all decide when I get home.
• I don’t feel normal if I don’t write every day now. It doesn’t have to be anything special or lucrative. It just has to be words on a page.
• I like wine. Who knew? Maybe I’d just not had very many good wines before, but now I’ll drink pretty much anything. I still prefer white, but I’m starting to appreciate red more.
• I still don’t like beer or coffee or meat.
• I still like scarves.
• I am no longer afraid of toddlers. I’ve been very lucky to have Savka to practice on because she’s pretty easy. You just let her splash around in the bidet for a while and then put in a Dora DVD, and she’s good to go.
• I don’t want to move every 3-5 years. I want to have a place I can call home, a place I can live and love and build deep friendships and stay for more like 20-40 years.
• I have a new appreciation for Chinese food.
• I’m ready to go. It’s been great, and I’ll be sad to leave all the new friends I’ve made here, but it’s time.

I might not post again until Friday or Saturday when I get to DC. Wish me safe travels, and I’ll see y’all soon!!!