Beth Trivia Continues

And now for part two of Beth Trivia!! For those of you who participated either in the comments or privately, here are the answers to yesterday’s movie quote round:

  1. A Mighty Wind
  2. When Harry Met Sally
  3. Moulin Rouge
  4. Zoolander
  5. Everything Is Illuminated
  6. Once
  7. Anchorman
  8. The Sound of Music
  9. Love Actually
  10. Newsies

How did you do?

Now for a harder round. This is “Where was Beth when…?” Good luck, and no asking my mom.

  1. Where did Beth do missions work for 2 summers?
  2. Where was Beth for New Year’s this year?
  3. Where did Beth grow up?  City, state
  4. Where did Beth get her graduate degree?
  5. Where did Beth work for two summers as a cafeteria worker?
  6. Name one of the two cities in which Beth has spent the night in an airport.
  7. What was the last restaurant Beth ate in before deciding to become vegan?
  8. Where was Beth “the night the lights went out in Greenville?”  (**hint: Hurricane Floyd, restaurant)
  9. Where was Beth when her mom went “BBLLLLLLEEEEAAAAHHHHH?”
  10. Where is Beth going for 3 months?  Be specific.

Again, put your answers in the comments, and we’ll go over them tomorrow. Good luck!!

The Most Random Thing Ever

Aw MAN! What a bummer. I had this INCREDIBLE video to share with you today of a weird dude on a cartoonish farm doing yoga with kids and a character named Rasta Rooster, and I’ve just discovered that it is now unavailable everywhere due to a copyright claim by Robin Maxwell. Look, Robin Maxwell, I don’t know who you are, or who you think you are, but WE WANT OUR RASTA ROOSTER BACK! Here is my original post:

Dear Uncle Gordy,

You are entirely too good to me and my readers to continue sending me these gems of YouTube. I know neither what to make of this nor what to say about it, so I open the discussion up to the general public. Tell me, general public, at what age should we begin our children’s yoga education? And how should we go about doing it? Is the yoga farm condescending in any way, or does it just make things more fun, like turning chores into games or vegetables into monster brains and insects? And how awesome is that cow? “Breeeeeaaaaaathe.”

See? You want to watch it now, don’t you? I say we start a petition. And in the meantime, Uncle Gordy has just come through AGAIN with this. Apparently there are many, so do check them out.


Oh, friends, I am ecstatic to report to you that I’ve just taught my last night class of the semester. I don’t really believe it yet, but there it is. Tomorrow is the last night for the students, but since I’m just the Monday/Wednesday teacher, it matters not to me. And I’m going to have dinner with my students on Wednesday, but I’m looking forward to that for several reasons:

  1. I don’t have to plan anything.
  2. I can wear whatever I want.
  3. I don’t have to be on time.
  4. They are cool.
  5. We’re going to the Olive Garden.
  6. There’s no danger of me getting observed.
  7. I don’t have to worry about disturbing the class next door.

I could go on, but I shan’t. Instead, I’m just going to go to bed and dream about James Bond throwing me into a pile of hay. Rarr.

Good night.

Baby Don’t You Cry, Gonna Make a Pie

I’ve just made this pie (thanks, L*Joy!!), which is now cooling on the table, and a variation of it that is currently in the oven. We’ll see how they both go. I’ve no doubt that the recipe is good, but in the first one, I was slightly confused and only used half the prescribed amount of almond butter. And in the second one, I forgot the dash of salt, and I didn’t have enough blueberries for a whole one, so I chopped up three apples to add to the mix.

Katherine put the apples in a baggie with some lemon juice, maple syrup and apple pie spice (cinnamon and nutmeg), and we let them sit in there for a little while. Then I added them to the blueberries just before I removed them from heat and put them in the crust. So we’ll see how that goes.

I’m taking the blueberry one to a potluck in about an hour, so keep your fingers crossed that it tastes ok (I’ll let you know). And as soon as I take that other one out and let it cool for a second, I’ll give it a little taste test. Stay tuned…

And in the meantime, I have felt very Waitress-y all afternoon baking these pies, and I’ve decided, following this experience and a retirement conversation Adam and I had yesterday, that when I retire, I want to bake a lot. A LOT. I want to bake good things and weird things and experimental things. I might even make a recipe book if I come up with enough things that don’t suck. I just want to be that sort of cooky old woman whose house always smells like baking, and who always has a little somethin’ for the neighborhood kids to “steal” off her windowsill.

And also, I want to kayak if my hips are still up to the challenge. And take Salsa dancing lessons. And ride a bike through China.

Ok. Pie #2 is out of the oven and about to enter my mouth in 3..2..1..

Oh sweet success and jubilation, that is some good pie. The pinch of salt in the crust definitely would have helped, and the flavor of the crust just takes a little getting used to because there’s no butter in it, but it’s really good. Feel free to come over and have a slice, but bring your own vanilla ice cream.

It’s a sunshine day!

A while back, DLF recommended these Sunshine veggie burgers to me, and it took me a while to actually purchase them, but OH MY am I happy I did! So far, I’ve only tried them on toasted English muffins with guacamole and dijon mustard, but I’ve got big plans to add hummus, sprouts, baby spinach, spicy brown mustard, banana peppers, salsa and perhaps some kind of chutney to the rotation.

If you have any ideas, DO let me know.

Yum yum eat ’em up

We decided to have rather an impromptu potluck last night at JBeau’s, which worked out well for a variety of reasons. First, he cooked a pork loin that he didn’t have to eat all by himself (Josh and Josh helped him – not me). Also, Lauren didn’t have to cook anything (although she did an excellent job with the orzo), I discovered that it was bad garlic causing the funky smell by the pantry, we played Rock Band, and I got to do a little experimental cooking, which is always fun.

Jon had some canned beans that he offered up for my vegan preparation, and I think I did them justice. I really should start taking pictures of my new recipes before I eat them. I just don’t think the “after” photos would be as appetizing or at all welcomed on the internet. And I’ve got that fancy camera now. Oh well. Next time, because I will be making this again.

Here’s what you need:

  • 3 tbsp olive oil
  • 4 cloves minced garlic
  • 4 tbsp lemon juice
  • 1 tbsp lemon zest
  • 1 cup vegetable stock
  • 1/2 cup chopped fresh basil
  • 1 can navy beans, drained and rinsed
  • 1 can garbanzo beans, drained and rinsed
  • 2 cups steamed broccoli
  • orzo pasta – We probably had about 3 cups cooked.

Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. Toss in the garlic, lemon juice and lemon zest, and let it sizzle for about 45 seconds. Pour in the veggie stock and both cans of beans. Cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally until it reduces to a point where there’s slightly less liquid than beans.

Cook the orzo according to package instructions, drain it, toss it with the remaining tablespoon of olive oil and the chopped basil, and set it aside until your lemon beans are ready.

Mix it all together. Salt and pepper to taste. Top with steamed broccoli.

Now there’s just one thing remaining. What should we call this lemon basil bean orzo broccoli concoction? Any ideas?

Schmesh-from-the-dentist clean

Is it just me, or is there anyone else out there who DOES NOT UNDERSTAND AT ALL what the toothpaste people are talking about when they say “fresh-from-the-dentist clean?” When I leave the dentist, my teeth don’t feel any cleaner than they did when I went in, mostly because when I went in, I’d just brushed them. This, to me, is much like cleaning your house before the cleaning people come, but that is a different post.

What eludes me even more is why a toothpaste would boast about making your teeth feel the way they do when you leave the dentist. I don’t know about y’all, but my teeth always feel really itchy and out-of-place for at least 12 hours after I leave the dentist. I do not care for it. If my toothpaste made my teeth feel that way, I would burn that toothpaste and then write a blog post about it wherein I refer to it as the devil and yet remain surprisingly upbeat about the whole thing. Hmmmm…this is starting to sound a little familiar

Anyhoe, my cavity-free teeth are back to normal now, and I would like to make them feel fresh-from-the-garlic-bread-smothered-in-homemade-tomato-sauce clean very soon. Can I get an amen to that?

On Shopping…

I don’t think it’s weird that I get excited when I realize I can cook my own food for about $3 per meal. But is it weird that I then think eating out is the most ridiculous waste of money ever, and I don’t want to do it any more? Maybe not totally weird, but definitely anti-social and one-track minded. I really have to tell myself that saving and being responsible with my money is one thing – one good, important thing – but it’s not THE most important thing. And if I go out and spend $15 on dinner in a restaurant with friends every now and then, that’s fine because I need to be a good steward of both my money and my relationships. I need to cultivate good habits with both. And sometimes it’s nice to get a little variety in my diet and not have to cook.


Also, I bought new toilet paper recently. Now, I buy toilet paper in BULK, and when I do, someone inevitably cracks a joke about how I must have some sort of digestive issues to need all that toilet paper, but it all gets used eventually, and it’s cheaper in bulk, so hey…I say if you’ve got a place to store it, it’s a win-win.

Anyhoe, I bought new toilet paper for the first time in AGES, having been steadily working my way through about 36 rolls of Charmin for some time. I got Cottonelle Ultra this time because it was the best value at BJ’s, and friends, let me just tell you. It is like wiping with the spun and woven feathers of angels’ wings compared to that other crap I was using before. Seriously, the next time you’re due for a TP purchase, give the Cottonelle Ultra a try. And don’t be afraid to go ahead and buy 36 rolls of it as I’m sure you will not be disappointed. Unless you have uncommonly weak toilet suction. It’s pretty thick.

Personally, I like my milk pan-fried.

I am honestly concerned, friends, with what seems to be a growing epidemic among single men. I used to think it was just good, old-fashioned laziness at best or dyslexia at worst, but there seriously can’t be that many lazy and/or dyslexic single men out there. Is it just because I teach and write English for a living that they are attracted to me like so many insects to our front stoop? Is the problem so big that the odds simply dictate that 97% of the emails I get from dudes on dating sites are riddled with grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors? Or are these men still single, perhaps, because they blatantly ignore other things in life in the same way they disregard standard English conventions? I do not know. But behold this portion of one message I received recently, copied and pasted, not altered in any way:

Ok i wana talk to you! 😉 You have my attention! LOL I just love your sarcasm!! I also really like that your vegan! 🙂 I am vegetarian myself. Been that way for 38 (almost 39 in September) years. I would do better as a vegan myself. I dont do raw milk but i do eat some eggs and chease. MMM chease! LOL damn chease! Anyway, ALL veggies/vegans should stick together! 🙂

Now be honest. Is it too picky of me to require more than this from a native English speaker? Am I being elitist or persnickety when I say I could never date this man? Nevermind the fact that he is clearly too old for me, having been a vegetarian for nearly 39 years. And know that I’m not passing judgment on him as a person, just as a potential husband. Tell me, internet, should I write him back or not?