• Categories

  • Onward Hoe! A History in the Making

  • Welcome!

    Hi. I'm Beth. I'm a Hoe. Onward!
  • RSS Twitterances

  • Recent Hoeness

  • not normal

    « Previous Entries

    You have 5 months to practice.

    Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

    Friends, my birthday is coming up in about five months, which means you need to get to a cake decorating class now if you want to be able to produce anything anywhere NEAR this beautiful by March 6. Ladies and gentlemen, BEHOLD!

    and now for something far less grown-up

    Monday, September 29th, 2008

    Friends, I have had…another dream.
    I was riding in a taxi, which seemed to be a normal-enough-sized taxi, except there were about eight people in it. There was the driver, someone riding shotgun, a blonde girl standing between them (on the gearshift, presumably), and then in the back, there was a girl from Alabama, DLF, me, […]

    found at Kroger

    Friday, September 26th, 2008

    How about a caption contest?! What do you have to say about this?

    an open letter to my little silk pillow

    Sunday, September 14th, 2008

    Dear Little, Round, Mustard-Colored Pillow,
    For the record, I think you are the cutest pillow I have ever seen. I love you more than my other throw pillows, and I’m not ashamed to say it. I do not understand, therefore, why your self-esteem is so low that you are constantly jumping onto the floor. It’s dirty […]

    from the best of cragislist

    Friday, September 12th, 2008

    This is just amazing. I mean, it’s not like the man being addressed will ever read this. I somehow just don’t get the impression that he spends a lot of time on craigslist, but who knows? I could be totally wrong.
    I should write more open letters. I like them. Where should I start? I’ve already […]

    just one more thing before I go to bed

    Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

    While we’re on the topic of all things white-trashy, your thoughts?

    time for some reader input

    Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

    I’m thinking about getting a tattoo, so I’ve been looking around for some inspiration. I’m considering a few of these, but I don’t want to say which ones so as not to bias your feedback. What do you think? Which one should I go with?

    good for airplanes, my church, the Arctic, etc.

    Sunday, September 7th, 2008

    My boyfriend recommended some books for me to read, and since I value his every thought like the precious drops of heavenly wisdom that they are, and since I’ve been wanting one of them for a long time, I decided to hit up Barnes and Noble after church today and pick up a couple of […]

    just in case you were thinking of becoming a craig’s list entrepreneur

    Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

    You cannot sell blood, bodily fluids or body parts on craigslist.org. However, you can give away pretty much anything you want - single car seats (like the actual seats from the car, not kids’ seats), staplers, cages, dirt, beds, and this one found by Emily’s husband, Matt:
    WANTED: SCRABBLE® Tile “R” (Union Station)
     
    NOTE: Tile must be burgundy in color.
    Willing to […]

    this is a weird one

    Thursday, August 28th, 2008

    I’m pretty sure this is the reason I woke up with my bedsheets all atangle. I had a very bizarre dream wherein I was being vehemently pursued. I would call it chased because that’s what it felt like, but the pursuit was in no way malicious. It was just scary. But perhaps I should start […]

    « Previous Entries