Are y’all ok? I tried to post a few times while I was gone, but I just couldn’t do it with any sort of regularity. Did you start going through withdrawal? I’m back. I’m here. Calm down. It’s ok.
Alrighty, so I’ve been in Texas for nearly a week, where my friend Carrie got married. Their story is CRAZY, y’all. Insane. And I’m trying to get her to write a little something about it for the dirtydish, but we’ll see. For now, I’ll just say that it started about seven years ago, and until January of this year, they’d only seen each other in person two or three times. He was engaged to another girl twice (same girl), and Carrie dated other guys as well, but everyone broke up within about a two-week period, and not five months later, Carrie and Garrett were engaged.
So I went to Texas on Tuesday of last week, because I had the whole week off anyway, and I didn’t have anything else to do but sit around and blog, so I figured I’d just go to Texas and see if I could make myself useful. I’m not sure how useful I was, but I had a good time. We tied about a thousand ribbons onto the cutest wedding programs I’ve ever seen. We drove all over the state running errands. And we laughed a LOT. So I’d say it was a successful week.
Here are a few highlights:
- Carrie’s mom started getting nervous toward the end of the week, and with the nerves came a jumbling of words like I’ve never seen. At one point, she said that up until then, we’d been having a big “jabamba party,” but it was time to get serious. We said, “But we’re still in our jabambas.”
- There was a lot of talk (and consequently hysterical laughter) about the concept of a “landing strip” (aka “jazz beard”). That’s all I’m going to say about that.
- I was told at one point that I was going to choreograph a dance for the reception with one of the DJ’s – a man known as “Hammer.” We did not end up doing this, and frankly I was a little disappointed.
- Dawn (maid of honor) and I found a little shop called My Spicy Treasures. I kept wanting to call it My Secret Treasures, but no…they were spicy. We didn’t go in, but we did contemplate it because they had mangerie, and while Carrie had plenty of lingerie for the honeymoon, I’m not sure Garrett had any at all.
- Next to My Spicy Treasures was a donut shop called Donut Gourmet Donut. Every time I looked at the sign, I was compelled to sing it to the tune of “Sunday Bloody Sunday.”
- I think this was the shortest reception on record. It was certainly the shortest one I’d ever been to. Granted, I was among the last of the guests to arrive before the wedding party themselves, but I’d just gotten my food and sat down when the DJ called for the bridesmaids and groomsmen to convene in the entrance hall so as to be announced. They came in and lined up, and then the bride and groom were announced. They came in, we clapped, they had their first dance, they cut the cake, there were about five songs, the best man gave a speech, and then we lined up and blew bubbles as the bride and groom left. That was it. There was no tossing of the bouquet, no pulling off of the garter, no father-daughter/mother-son dances, no electric slide (praise the Lord). The wedding was at 7:00, and we were back at the hotel by 10.
Now, I go back and forth between wanting a big, elaborate New Year’s Eve wedding and just wanting to elope. When I see all the time and work and money that goes into planning a big shindig, I just want to call everybody on a Wednesday and tell them I’m getting married on Saturday at such-and-such a place, and if they want to come, bring a covered dish. But when I go to a reception, I get excited about that part, and it makes me want to have it all – the DJ, the cake, the food, the dress, the dancing. Maybe I can elope and then just have a big party when we get back from the honeymoon. Maybe I can have a really small wedding at any point during the year, and then I can plan a New Year’s Eve formal as a completely separate party. Hmmm…maybe I still need a Matt…er, I mean man…first. Let’s just work on that for now.