Um, I’d just like to point out that we are already through almost 1/12 of 2012. What? Where has this month gone?! Oh right, lesson planning, old episodes of Wings on Netflix, and Words with Friends. And about 50 cups of hot chocolate. I’m having one now as a matter of fact, but I made it with water instead of almond milk because it has less sugar that way, and I want to be asleep by 10 tonight because tomorrow’s a hair washing day. And that, friends, is my life.

I know I said I wasn’t going to make any New Year’s resolutions, but I do want to do a few slightly more exciting things with the next eleven twelfths of the year. But we’ll just call these whatever the annual equivalent of a bucket list would be. Is there a word for that? “Goals” doesn’t seem exciting enough. It’s too corporate, too type A, too…predictable for me.

The Awesomeness Conspiracy

In the pursuit of awesomeness in 2012, I will:

• make videos for the interwebs
• surprise people
• surprise myself
• not be afraid to fail
• go swimming
• flee the country
• make crafty things
• salsa dance
• send real mail
• party like it’s 1999
• stay up past midnight (but not on school nights)
• make rockin’ playlists
• not beat myself up over not finishing the crafty things I started
• frolic in parks
• sing karaoke like nobody’s business
• be grateful
• be sneaky
• tell people how great they are
• go to New York

Word.

Amaris turns 30 today, and in honor of that, I’d like to say (in the voice of the Wilkesboro Western Steer announcer), “Onward Hoe would like to wish Amaris Hames a very happy birthday. Happy birthday, Amaris.” We were up late last night working on several projects, this being one of them. She wanted to make a list of things she wished someone had told her before she turned 30, and since this happened last night, technically, I did tell her some of them before she turned 30. But then she went to bed before being able to put them to good use.

Anyhoe, it’s a good list, and since I came up with several of them, I’m boosting it from her blog and putting it here. Enjoy!

1.  Do not let the words of someone else determine your joy.  Amen.
2.  When you take the lid off a boiling pot of anything, that lid will drip on your toes.  And it will suck.
3.  There will come a time when doing simple things like closing the car door or walking downhill will make your body hurt.  Like a lot.  This time is coming soon.
4.  Take care of your skin. It really, REALLY matters. It will sag in places you didn’t think it would sag. And this is just the beginning.
5.  Invest in a good bra.  It will change your life.  Don’t be afraid to have a great sales woman feel you up to make it happen.
6.  There is no path that anyone SHOULD go down.  Anybody that tells you that is lying.  You have to figure out what YOUR story is.
Everyone’s story is different.
Everyone’s.
7.  However, there ARE some paths that no one should go down. Like, butt implants. Or cocaine.
8.  There will come a day when you are so excited to stay home on a Friday night.  Embrace it.  And stock up on Ben and Jerry’s.  Cuz’ you’s gawn need it.
9.  Learn the Tim Tam Slam.
10. You know a lot less than you think you do.  Don’t assume.  Ask more questions.
11. You know a lot more than you think you do.  Be confident.
12. Create.  As often as possible.
13. Figure out how to use who you are for the benefit of everyone.  Don’t be less of who you are because it inconveniences someone else.
14. Just because something is expensive doesn’t mean it’s better.
15. However, don’t be afraid to spend money on really good shoes.  They will make you much happier every day.
16. Be vulnerable with people who will love and care for you, not just dudes who act like they care so they can get into your drawers.
17. Keep a chocolate drawer to keep you sane.
18. Don’t iron your hair. It does not work like a flat iron.
19. If you’re not sure that it’s just going to be a fart, hold it in until you can get to a restroom.
20. Cancel memberships you no longer use.  Even if you think they’re going to end on their own, double check.
21. Be thoughtful and kind.  They’re more important than being important.
22. When you’re stressed out, puppies really do make everything better.  Go find one.
23. If you can’t find a puppy, The Three Amigos and mint-chocolate-chip ice cream will suffice.
24. Men at 30 have the potential to look DRASTICALLY different than they did at twenty.  You should be aware of this before you make any long-term decisions.
Drastically.
25. Don’t wait on somebody else to give you flowers.  Fill your home with them.
26. There will be a year in your early/mid-twenties that will TOTALLY suck.  But it will get better.  Promise.
27. Do NOT, under any circumstances, believe the following myths:
- You’re not grown up until you have children.
- You’re not married because you’re not “ready.”
- You’re not lovable if you don’t have a man in your life.
- If a boy doesn’t like you, you need to change.
- After you get married, you can’t travel any more.
- If you’re not married, you are alone.
- The older you get, the less likely you are to find someone.
28. It may require you to eat a lot of ramen later, but go. on. vacation.  Your soul needs it.
29. Don’t be lame and don’t be an asshole.
30. Dance it out.

Amaris‘s brain doesn’t always work. I don’t know if she needs more sleep or if she’s got some kind of vitamin deficiency or what, but sometimes she just ain’t all there. I can say these things about her because she knows it, and I’ve said it to her (though she probably doesn’t remember), and well, she’s just not ashamed. She is who she is, and we love her.

Well, this morning, I got a tweet from her that I should go look at Mary’s feed because the content of one of her tweets was a direct result of me and my awesomeness. So I went, and I looked, and I did not get it. Then, as I thought more about her most recent tweet, a tiny, vague and very hazy memory began to creep ever-so-slowly and sneakily into the very back corner of my mind. It said, in part, “[my husband] is singing along to Billy Joel, which is just awesome.” And I thought, Did I turn Karl on to Billy Joel? That feels kind of familiar.

So I asked Amaris, and she told me this WHOLE long story about how I told Karl that any man who likes music should have a basic appreciation for Billy Joel, and how the women in his life, and maybe even his future wife, would love it if he liked Billy Joel, and on and on and on.

Y’all, I have no recollection of this whatsoever. So I told Amaris that if we don’t have husbands when we’re old, we need to just move on in together so we can try and help each other remember to put our teeth in and wear clothes when we leave the house. I don’t even care if they match. (Well, I want my teeth to match my mouth, so I hope I don’t put hers in, but as far as my clothes go, I’ll still be so urban that it won’t matter.) Clearly our mental capacities are already failing us, so now is the time to prepare.

So if any of y’all want to get in on this, let me know. We can buy a big ol’ house somewhere and form our own old folks home. Surely somebody will have a kid who’s a doctor who’ll come over and check on us once a week. We’ll hire a college kid to do all our grocery shopping, and when he/she comes over with our rations, we’ll say things that are totally inappropriate and unexpected for old people. We’ll play games in the back yard, but we’ll cheat, of course. We’ll go on early evening walks through the neighborhood, smiling and waving at all the families out playing in their yards. We’ll sit out on our porch on Sunday afternoons and wave at passing cars. We’ll always have candy in our pockets to give to the kids at church. We’ll have surprisingly good Halloween decorations. We’ll dance as much of a jig as our hips will allow when Christmas carolers come by. We’ll drink wine on the porch at 10 in the morning just because we can get away with it ’cause we’re old. And when we wake up at 3 in the morning because we went to bed at 7 the previous evening, we’ll take the opportunity afforded to us by the cover of darkness to go skinny dipping in the community pool.

Won’t you join us?

Last year, for my friend Eden’s birthday, she requested that all her friends make her CDs in lieu of throwing parties, buying dinners, giving gift cards or scarves, etc. Since I love music and making fabulous playlists, I was very excited about this idea. In fact, in the future, if ever you want to give me a CD (for any occasion whatsoever), please do. This is quite possibly my love language.

So I made a playlist for Eden that ended up requiring THREE CDs to burn, but oh my was it ever worth it. And since then, I’ve added to it, making it into a 4-disc, 72-song, epic and fabulous playlist. I have mentioned it to Amaris many times, and she always asks for the list. I always say, “Yes of course you can have the list,” and then I always forget to type it up for her. But the time has come.

Y’all, this is a random, random assortment of music that pleases me so much, I think I may never need to get married. Here we go…

1. Throw Down – The Whistlestop
2. Meet Me by the Water – Rachael Yamagata
3. LoveGame – Lady Gaga
4. Bye Bye Bye – *NSYNC
5. Yellow Ledbetter – Pearl Jam
6. So Much Better – from Legally Blonde the Musical
7. Africa – Toto
8. F*** You – Lily Allen
9. Why Don’t We Do It in the Road? – The Beatles
10. Forget You – Cee Lo Green
11. Piece of My Heart – Janis Joplin
12. One More Road – Roman Candle
13. Hometown Glory – Adele
14. Against All Odds – Phil Collins
15. Gravity – Sara Bareilles
16. Fantastic Mr. Fox (aka Petey’s Song) – Jarvis Cocker
17. Bust a Move – Young MC
18. I Wanna Dance with Somebody – Whitney Houston
19. Ora Basta – Giorgia
20. Faithfully – Journey
21. Born – Over the Rhine
22. Float On – Modest Mouse
23. When You Are Not Enough – Thad Cockrell/Matt Stevens
24. Fango – Jovanotti
25. Leave – Glen Hansard
26. All You Need Is Love – The Beatles
27. Sympathique – Pink Martini
28. By Thy Mercy – High Street Hymns
29. Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
30. Bron-Y-Aur Stomp – Led Zeppelin
31. I’ll Cover You (Reprise) – from RENT
32. All I Want Is You – Barry Louis Polisar
33. Cherry Cherry – Neil Diamond
34. Jump (for My Love) – Pointer Sisters
35. You Don’t Know Me – Ben Folds
36. Live Again – Better Than Ezra
37. A Whiter Shade of Pale – Procol Harum
38. Rolling in the Deep – Adele
39. Papers in Order – The Old Ceremony
40. Staralfur – Sigur Ros
41. Jesus and Gravity – Dolly Parton
42. Little Wing – Jimi Hendrix
43. Elenore – The Turtles
44. I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues – Elton John
45. Nice and Slow – Usher
46. Vito’s Ordination Song (acoustic) – Sufjan Stevens
47. Heaven Help Us All – Stevie Wonder
48. Andar Conmigo – Julieta Venegas
49. I Can’t Even Recall – Roman Candle
50. Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
51. Under Streetlights – Brooke Annibale
52. Shelter – Ray LaMontagne
53. Reason Why – Rachael Yamagata
54. Soldier Girl – The Polyphonic Spree
55. Call Me Al – Paul Simon
56. Beat It – Michael Jackson
57. SexyBack – Justin Timberlake
58. Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash
59. Someone Like You – Adele
60. Black Water – The Doobie Brothers
61. Nobody Does It Better – Carly Simon
62. Rehab – Amy Winehouse
63. Kyrie – Mr. Mister
64. I and Love and You – The Avett Brothers
65. Somebody Told Me – The Killers
66. The Chain – Ingrid Michaelson
67. Judy in Disguise – John Fred & His Playboy Band
68. Just Dance – Lady Gaga
69. Forca – Nelly Furtado
70. Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
71. Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z/Alicia Keys
72. Your Love Is My Drug – Ke$ha

Yes, I realize there is a hymn right next to a Nirvana song. I also realize that there are at least three Lady Gaga songs on the list. What can I say? I want to be too cool to like her, but I think she’s ridiculously talented, and I just can’t help myself. And I realize that not everyone likes songs they can’t understand. If you want to copy my playlist, but take out the foreign language songs, feel free, but I will not be held responsible for the outcome. This list is perfect, I tell you. PERFECT! Good for parties and cleaning and reading the Interweb and organizing the boxes of crap in your front room. It picks you up right when you need it and brings you back down just at the right moments. It fluctuates between empirically good music and absolute guilty pleasure songs. It has many genres spanning many decades, and because there are so many songs, you can listen to it over and over and never get tired of it because by the time you start it over, it’s been almost five hours since you heard the first song, so you don’t even realize you’re back to the beginning! Once again, PERFECT!

If you haven’t heard, there’s some very excited talk of me going (with about eight of my favorite gal pals) to run next year’s Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon. Tutus, good. Tiaras, good. Friends, good. Running, if we must. So I’ve decided that in order to be better prepared for this one than I was for the New Orleans Rock-n-Roll one, I should start training now. Therefore, I went to the gym yesterday. It was the first time I’d been since I got back from New Orleans, and it was awful. Everything was hard, and I didn’t feel well at all. I was kind of dizzy and feverish, and that is not the kind of thing you should just “push through,” so I walked a few laps around the track just to have done something, and then I went home.

Today, I watched about five episodes of 3rd Rock from the Sun, ate half a bag of Hint of Lime Tostitos and cleaned out my car. That’s basically the same as going to the gym, right?

I’ll get there. I just feel like I’m still recovering, mostly from the traveling. I played catch-up all last week with lesson plans and sleep, and I want a full week of normal before I start my training in earnest. But when that week is over, I’ll be at Intense Cardio Dance on Saturday at 12:30, so please come and join me if you can. It’s awesome.

And until then, watch this drunk baby.

I understand that some of you are upset by my lack of blogging this week. Here’s what you missed:

• I joined the Y!! I applied for financial assistance and got it in a BIG way. Seriously, if you want to join but don’t think you can afford it, the application process is really easy, and you’ll have an answer within a week or two. AND if you qualify for assistance, they waive the joining fee altogether. In sum, you should join and be my workout buddy. If it sways your decision at all, there are lots of cute bearded guys there (and cute non-bearded guys if that’s your thing, and cute non-bearded girls for that matter…something for everyone).
• We went to see The Social Network on Movie Tuesday, which is a weekly outing we’ve started taking because the $1.50 theater sells drinks and popcorn for $1 each on Tuesdays. Movie + popcorn + drink = $3.50? Yes, please. Anyhoe, The Social Network was really good. Justin Timberlake amazes me. How are you so flippin’ talented, JT?
  
• Tuesday-Friday felt like the looooooooooonnnnggesssssst four days EVER. Seriously. We had Monday off, and the rest of the week felt like three whole weeks. I’m so glad it’s over. My problem, I figured, was at least twofold. I deviated from my normal lesson pattern, which basically meant that where I would normally have built-in things to do, I had to come up with new things to do. This makes planning more excruciating than usual. And the first round of students has started to thin out considerably as people decide that the class isn’t for them or that they don’t have time for it or whatever, so on Thursday (I think), I only had three students. That sucks.
• Friday, however, was great. We had our second registration, and I got TEN new students!! They might not all get to stay in the program (some might test out on a test they’ll take on Tuesday), but at the very least, a couple of my old students came back, and that changed the atmosphere of the class for the better instantly. And speaking of old students, Sarah, if you’re reading this, where have you been? Don’t make me call you. Just come on back. We miss you.
• I tried to upgrade my MacBook’s operating system from Tiger to Snow Leopard. I was unsuccessful. However, I know what the problem is, and I am well on my way to fixing it. Just give me a few weeks, and I’ll be running faster than ever.
• Speaking of running, I bought my plane ticket to New Orleans!! That actually happened a couple of weeks ago, but I don’t think I’ve mentioned it.
• And speaking of New Orleans, Amaris and I convinced two boys to go with us today. Boom. Peer pressure. It’s going to be a really fun trip.
• I got a flippin’ sweet fisheye lens camera, and I’ve been taking pictures all over downtown Raleigh. I believe you can view the whole album here if you’re interested. Just don’t go pilferin’ none of ‘em.
• I bought (hopefully) all the groceries I’ll need for the rest of the month so I don’t have to spend any more money on food until I get paid again. Don’t ask me to go out to eat. I can’t. I have to eat all this food I bought.
• I did laundry.
• I started reading Water for Elephants. It’s very good so far. You can expect a book report when I finish.
• I played a dance game on the X-Box Kinect. It is…really cool. You don’t use any controllers. You just move your hands to make selections, and it actually watches you dance and scored your moves. When you’re setting it all up and moving things around without touching anything, you totally feel like Tony Stark designing a new Iron Man suit or something. And then it has a “freestyle” portion of every dance where you just do whatever you want as it records you. Then it plays back a short clip of your dancing, but in super-speed, so you look like a total spaz. Good times.
• I had a crazy dream that I was running and skipping at a very high speed through a field with my friend Adam. We jumped into a lake, which we had to do to get all the points. Then he was gone, and I was walking through this trippy desert holding hands with some guy while my sister, who was, as best I can describe it, a swirling sand hologram, followed us. We had to let go at some point because our hands got too sweaty, but we were clearly in love.
• I had breakfast this morning with a really awesome couple from church who worked as missionaries in Italy for about ten years. Did I mention they were awesome? Because they were.

And I think that just about wraps it up. I would very much like to update y’all more than once a week, but between teaching, lesson planning, training for a half-marathon I’m supposed to run in THREE WEEKS (Lord help us) and sleeping at least eight hours a night, there’s not a lot of free time. Once I get a better handle on the lesson planning, things should improve. Keep your fingers crossed.

I’ve decided to forgo professionalism today. If I have to work on a snow day, I’m going to do it in the comfort of my jabambas by the fire. Plus, who wants to go outside today? Not this girl. And if I’m not going out, why shower? I’m just sayin’ is all.

So yesterday I had a ballroom dance lesson, which just confirmed to me that I’d really like to have dance lessons/classes regularly. This doesn’t surprise me (it probably doesn’t surprise you either), but for the first time yesterday, I started to wonder what it is about dancing that I find so appealing. Here’s what I came up with:

• I love music. I think in song.
• Dancing flows naturally out of music. Even now, my big toe is involuntarily tapping to the beat of the Christmas music I’m listening to.
• Dance is a good way to exercise, and when you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which make you feel good.
• Ballroom dance requires you to touch another person, and hey…we all need that.
• Research indicates that at least 80% of communication is nonverbal. To me, that says that ALL the massive amounts of talking and writing I do still only account for 20% of what I have in me to say. Girlfriend needs to get some things out in other ways. I’m not sure that’s the best logic, but it makes sense in my head.

And then wouldn’t you know it? I came home last night and read some more of that book I was telling y’all about the other day, and the next chapter was about dance. AND Christmas! BONUS! Check it out:

There is something primal about dance that transcends all of the conventional concerns. Dancers embody the very ideal of the arts and fuse the spirit with the body. In other words, dance incarnates, and dancers bring this fusion in their bodies. God appeared in flesh via the babe in a manger, bridging eternal gaps in the incarnation: Flesh, therefore, is given the weight of glory [a C.S. Lewis reference]. God came, supped as a man, and bled to bring our bodies and spirits to merge into heaven. He defined humanity within his own body. As Dutch art historian Hans Rookmaaker famously stated, “Christ did not come to make us Christians…but that he came to redeem us that we might be human in the full sense of that word.” Our Lord humbled himself to have a body, to make himself vulnerable, to be lifted up in ignominy, and to find resurrection in that glorious body. A dancer, in a single leap, seems to hover in between the indescribably gap between time and space, taking us with him or her. By doing so, the dancer embodies our souls in the public arena, and perhaps that is the dancer’s grand adventure.

Christians should be the first in line to see and applaud this fusion of body and soul. Christ is not an ideology, a sentiment, or a mental image, but a fusion of body and Spirit. Scripture speaks of how God turns our “wailing into dancing” (Psalm 30:11). Our bodies are not empty shells to be filled with souls but are mysterious and inexplicably tied to our redemption. Our Lord will dance with us in the coming age, and we should begin to prepare for that day.

I’m on it.

My very good friend and favorite Skype companion, the lovely Miss DLF, recommended a book for me to read probably two years ago. I got it and started reading it, but then I got distracted from it somehow and put it down. Well. I picked it back up this morning, and wouldn’t you know it, the chapter I read was about Christmas. “How appropriate,” thought I, “I should share this with my blog readers.” And that’s exactly what I intend to do.

The book is a collection of reflections on art, creation, culture and faith, and how we can view each one and the world through the lenses of the others. DLF recommended it to me because she had enjoyed it so much and felt that as a fellow artistic type, I might also enjoy it. And so I pass along the recommendation to anyone who considers him/herself an artist. The book is “Refractions” by Makoto Fujimura, and I’d like to share with you an excerpt from the chapter I read this morning just to give you a sense of what it’s like and to give you some food for thought so close to Christmas.

I know that many of you don’t think of yourselves as artists and might, therefore, think that this does not apply to you. Let me just say right now that it does. And also, we are all artists in one way or another. If you create anything – whether it’s words, photos, paintings, fruit displays, pottery, jewelry, music, acting, floral arrangements, dance, architecture, film, graphic design, cookie dough Christmas ornaments, CAD drawings, animation, a remodeled kitchen, recipes, origami boxes, scrapbooks, ridiculous/hilarious scenarios, or a really good batch of cookies – you are an artist. And this is for you.

“A Japanese pastor wrote that the most important message of Christmas is that Jesus was born as a babe, weak and vulnerable to the world. A baby is utterly dependent on a mother and a father, and others helping the baby to survive. Imagine, one who would claim to be the all-powerful Creator in flesh, becoming vulnerable and DEPENDENT on fallen human beings like us!

But when you think about it, a baby’s strength also lies in this weakness, as he or she draws people together. The message of Christmas is a paradox. It is through the weak that power is displayed. It is through the vulnerability that true, lasting security is gained. It is through being utterly dependent on others, that a true community is created.

The message of Christmas, then, can be applied to what we do as artists. What would our art look like if we truly believed that through our weaknesses, through even what we are ashamed of, we could create something that is lasting and meaningful, and incarnate hope back into the world. What if the power of a community is not in the display of power, but in the acknowledgement of our weaknesses? Artists can play an important role in helping a community to be authentic and honest. Japanese aesthetics already embraces the idea that weakness is beautiful: that what is wearing away and what is imperfect actually points to eternity.”

One of my students requested that I take pictures of my trip to Asheville last weekend and post them here (hey Sarah!), and although I forgot my camera, Josh has a pretty good one on her phone, so here we go (thanks Josh!)!

We spent Friday afternoon wandering around downtown, trying to find me a new fall look. We went into a lot of stores, this one being one of my favorites. It’s a vintage store that also carries the wares of local etsy merchants, so there’s a lot of fun stuff to play with. But back to my new look. I liked this one ok. The mohawk, the two sets of eyes, the pointy nose, the blush. I think it really works for me, don’t you?

No? Perhaps not. Ok, on to the next store.

Let me just start by disappointing you all by telling you that I did not buy this hat. I know. I’m sorry. I liked it a lot. I love hats. I just feel like there’s no good reason to wear them around here. When I lived in NY, I wore hats all the time because it was cold, and I walked around outside a lot. But here, it’s sort of pointless. You go from your house to your car to your destination and back again. You’re never outside for more than two minutes, and let’s be honest. It’s not that cold.

Maybe if the hat had been a color that I felt like I’d get more wear out of, I would have been willing to spend money on it, but I wasn’t in love with this one. However, if you happen to see a hat similar to this one in a tweed, perhaps, or a felt, let me know.

On Saturday afternoon, we took a wee hike up to a lovely lookout. The leaves weren’t quite at their peak yet, but it was still beautiful, and it was really nice to be out in the fresh air.

You just can’t be on top of a mountain like this and not spin around like Julie Andrews singing, “The hills are a live with the sound of music!” It’s just not possible.

Ok, so we didn’t actually sing, but only because there were other people up there. You’d better believe, though, that if I were up there alone, I’d sing the whole song. I’d also sing “Climb Every Mountain” AND “Edelweiss.” Oh who am I kidding? I’d re-enact the whole movie, and we all know it.

There are plenty more pictures on facebook, but that’s enough for now. We had a great time, and my friend Eden was a wonderful hostess. We got to see lots of friends, eat plenty of good food and frolic in the mountains. What more could a girl want?

As you may already know, The Container Store is opening in Raleigh this weekend. And since I hosted that giveaway a while back, they gave me a ticket to a “private” preview party, which took place last night. L-Josh and I went, and Amaris was supposed to come too, but she got…lost? Yeah, we’ll call it lost.

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