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    Hi. I'm Beth. I'm a Hoe. Onward!
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    Onward Hoe! Expansion Project

    Tuesday, August 19th, 2008

    So…suddenly I have two weeks off, and my roommate, Lauren, suggested that we spend this time renovating Onward Hoe! “What a good idea!” said I, and we began to think of possible additions to the site. I’m not going to give away all the secrets just yet, but I want you, friends and faithful fans, […]

    yawn, grumble grumble

    Thursday, May 29th, 2008

    I need a bumper sticker (or t-shirt) that says, “I’d rather be napping,” because let’s face it…it’s the truth pretty much at all times. I’ve probably said this before, but I stand by it firmly. It’s not that I’m lazy (or slothful). It’s just that I really do require that much sleep. I don’t know […]

    pow, pow, pow, pow, la, la, la, la

    Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

    I almost had a wreck this morning in the process of calling Whitney to tell her about what I am about to tell you, but don’t be alarmed. All is well. And I saw a Ford Expedition with a sticker on the rear window outlining the silhouette of a sexy woman wielding a jackhammer. Usually […]

    do what now?

    Monday, February 18th, 2008

    So Whitney and I have a small obsession with personalized license plates, and whenever we see a good one, we will text it for our mutual enjoyment. Well, yesterday, I saw one that said WHRE AMI, but that wasn’t the best part. The best part was the bumper sticker below it, which said, “Deport a […]

    new advertising technique

    Sunday, February 10th, 2008

    I was behind a car at a stoplight the other day, and the license plate of this car was in one of those frame thingies that usually advertise the name of the car dealership where the vehicle was purchased or a favorite school/team, or sometimes, if you’re lucky, they say something like “God’s Girl” or […]

    archnemesis

    Saturday, December 22nd, 2007

    My sister called me earlier to tell me about this bumper sticker that she saw. It was so good, and yet so so bad. It said, “If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”

    this week’s bumper sticker

    Tuesday, October 9th, 2007

    Hey kids! It’s time for today’s most amazing bumper sticker! It was on the car that was parked next to me in the parking deck during class this evening, and it wasn’t exactly a bumper sticker in the traditional sense. It was one of those that’s clear in the negative space so the color of […]

    awesomest bumper sticker of the day

    Monday, October 1st, 2007

    “Republicans for Voldemort”
    I mean, I know things at the White House aren’t exactly perfect, but come on.
    p.s. This is probably the closest I will ever come to discussing politics on Onward Hoe!

    A Moving Experience

    Monday, August 30th, 2004

    Have you ever wondered what happens when you go through a toll booth and you don’t have enough money? Well, I found out yesterday that in NJ, they take down all your info and give you a slip of paper that tells you where you need to send a check or money order in the […]