A Dog’s Life

I’m dog sitting for my friend Laurie, and seriously, y’all, this is the cutest dog on earth. Her head is all tiny, and she’s got a floofy fountain tail. And she’s super sweet. The only annoying thing is that she doesn’t do anything alone. I can’t just let her out into the yard to do her business. I have to actually stand out there with her. And everywhere I go in the house, she follows. Still, she’s completely precious, and my roommates and I love her.

Anyhoe, I was thinking this morning about how boring a dog’s life would be to a human with a human brain. I mean, to a dog with a dog brain, a pet dog’s life is great. You play, you sleep, you eat, you poop, you chew on stuff, you curl up beside your human. It’s paradise. But to a human, spending all day just eating, sleeping, pooping, chewing on plastic ducks and chasing said ducks around the room would be ridiculous and really boring after less than a week.

The only thing I wish I could take from them is the ease with which they get affection. They just stand there and look at you all cute until you touch them. Some, of course, are more aggressive. They jump and sniff and head butt, and some people refuse to pet a dog no matter what it does. But from my observations, it seems that most dogs that sit and stare get at least a head pat from most humans. And I’m wondering if this could work between people.

Say I go to a bar, and I see a cute guy. What if I just walk up to him and look at him sweetly and expectantly? Would he eventually break down and hug me? Or hold my hand? Or ask me to sit on his lap? Or kiss me? I think it’s worth a shot. And if it works, we can add this to my list of “moves” along with the sexies (up, down, and walk), stingray/stungun, and the bend and snap.

What do y’all think? Anyone up for some experimentation? Purely for research purposes, of course.

Author: beth

I'm told that I'm cleverly stupid, and that's why people are friends with me. And here I thought it was because I was so dang cute...

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