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an open letter to Ira David Wood III
By beth | September 24, 2008
Dear Ira David Wood III,
Did I get it right? I can never remember if it’s Ira David or David Ira, and last night at the audition, when you introduced yourself as David Wood, well that just threw me off completely. I do apologize about never getting your name right. That must be frustrating for you. My name’s Elizabeth Claire. I think it rolls off the tongue easier than Claire Elizabeth, but that’s probably just because it’s always been my name. I have a friend named Claire Elizabeth, and she probably thinks that’s easy to remember. So if you can’t ever remember the order, that’s ok. I can’t get yours straight either. Just call me Beth anyway. That’s what everybody else calls me. Except for my students, who call me “Teacher.” That’s it. Not “Teacher Beth,” not “Ms. Beth,” just “Teacher.” Weird, huh? I’ve always thought so.
So Beth will do because I don’t have a stage or professional name. Probably because I’ve never been professionally on stage. I was in a really low-budget high school play back in ‘98 called “Ducktails and Bobbysocks.” If you Google it, you’ll get a bunch of really low-budget elementary and middle school performance announcements, and honestly, I’m surprised anyone else has done the thing. I found a woman on YouTube playing and singing all the songs. This was my big song with my buddy Alan (I think you know him. He played Nephew Fred for you.) when I played “Bertha,” the “awkward girl” to his “Wilbur,” the “awkward boy.” Just give that a listen and tell me you’re not absolutely drooling to have an artist of my caliber in your Christmas show. Hoo-boy.
Anyway, I was really nervous last night, and I know my audition consisted largely of me standing there like the fire tower my sisters and I for some reason identified as “Medoc” throughout our childhood when we passed it on our way to Enfield to visit our grandparents. But I promise you, Ira David Wood III, if you let me play in your show, I will not stand there with my hand in my pocket (unless expressly directed to do so). I will sing and dance and be a fountain of joviality and delight (unless expressly directed to do otherwise).
If you’re concerned with the quality of my singing or that I’m too self-conscious and nervous to put on a show, I invite you to come to my class any weekday between 9:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., where there is a daily performance. Sometimes it’s even an exhilarating grammar performance (take a moment to compose yourself after that thought). Or we can go for a ride, and I’ll do a little “So Much Better” for you. I think you’ll like it. The girl on my CD has three names too.
Let me know what you think, Ira David Wood III.
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Claire Parent
Topics: music, dancing, friends, Family, "celebrities", ESL, movies/TV/video |
September 24th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I’ve forwarded this to IDW,III.
November 12th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Elizabeth
I just got to read your letter. Thank you so much for writing it. I only wish I’d read it sooner.
I hope you’ll keep auditioning for A CHRISTMAS CAROL. Please don’t give up. We have people in the show you auditioned for seven years straight before finally being cast.
We’ll have our auditions for next year’s production this coming June or July. Please make sure you call the theatre and put your name on our mailing list. You’ll get audition notices then.
Best regards to you and yours
David Wood