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more disgusting than cupcakes made from my own excrement
By beth | June 19, 2008
I was essentially either at work or en route to/from work yesterday from 8:45 a.m. to 9:45 p.m., and when I arrived home after such a long day, I found my roommate looking very stressed and scrubbing the kitchen like a mad woman. Her response to “How are you?” was “We HAVE to clean.” I didn’t disagree that the apartment could use a once-over, but it wasn’t a total sty. It was really just the usual clutter that tends to build up in my presence. So I asked her why we HAD to clean, and she said, “Because it smells, and I’ve killed at least 25 flies already.”
At that point, I looked up and saw that our ceiling was covered in flies. And I don’t mean there were ten or fifteen. I mean there were at least fifty, and I’m not exaggerating. Umm…DISGUSTING. So we spent the next hour hunting them down, stunning or killing them with a feather duster, which we will be disposing of as soon as all the flies are gone, and sucking them up in the dust-buster.
It was a sight, let me tell you, and we had the blinds up because they were hiding back there, so if anyone had walked by, they would have seen me standing there at one point with the dust-buster in one hand and a flip-flop in the other, poised and ready to kill, looking up at the ceiling and turning round and round like Clarice Starling in the blacked-out house at the end of Silence of the Lambs.
By the time we said our good-nights, we must have killed 40-50 of the little buggers, and then I killed two more - one in my bedroom and another in my bathroom. We have no idea where they’ve come from, or why they like our place so much, or how on earth there are SO FREAKING MANY OF THEM. But I’m sure now that we’ve started killing them, their little death pheromones have spread far and wide, calling in the troops who’ve sworn never to leave a man behind, so needless to say, I’m not too keen on going home right yet. Maybe I’ll go for a pedicure while I’m out as my feet are pretty much on par with the disgustingness of an apartment full of flies. At least I could make one thing less gross.
Topics: not normal, friends, ESL |
June 19th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
How the heck did they get in there?????
June 20th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I think they are called “cluster flies”. Look it up.