making up for lost time

Oh I am HOT TODAY FRIENDS!! I tell you what…the words are just FLYING out of my fingertips! Obviously.

So last night, as I was leaving work, I was feeling completely dead, and I found myself driving totally on auto-pilot. You know…you drive for 10 minutes and then you look up and go Oh. Oh my. Am I here already? How did I get here? Not necessarily the safest way to drive, but I’ve never had an accident on auto-pilot (knock on wood), so no need for alarm.

It made me laugh right out loud, though, because it reminded me of this one time at American Evil (flagship store…#81…in SoHo) when I was working with this guy named Dusty, who was one of the funniest people of all time. I really wish I could remember his last name so I could find him on facebook, but alas, my memory sucks that way. Anyhoe, we were working the registers that day, and we were not allowed to leave the register area just because there weren’t any customers in line. We were supposed to find things to do back there like straightening out the tangled jewelry or restocking the bags or dusting the lights or blowing the gunk out of the keyboards. Whatever. On this particular day, however, it was pretty slow, and we’d already done all of that, so (and this is just one reason I ALWAYS got in trouble with my managers there who had roughly zero sense of humor) we came up with one of the most hilarious/ridiculous things I have ever come up with, which, as you know, is saying a LOT.

We decided to pretend we were robotronic cashiers with motion sensors to detect the presence of a customer waiting for service. So we just stood there looking like Stepford wives all perky and still, and we’d take turns walking up to each other pretending to be customers…at which point, the robotronic cashier would spring into action with a delightful welcome, an assurance of quality assistance in the store that day, an up-sell and a pleasant check-out experience. Then we’d go back into still mode.

Now. If we were in still mode for some time without any customers walking up, we’d go into “screen saver” mode, which consisted of dancing around in circles behind our registers. Then, of course, were a customer to approach, we’d switch back into cashier mode and start up with the cashier spiel.

I had not thought about that in YEARS, friends, but I am so glad that I did because it has been entertaining me for a full 15 hours now. Man, I wish I could remember that kid’s last name. We had good times together. Good times indeed.

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