dagger in my heart

I just got home from the Shane and Shane concert, which, though very good, was not their best. Don’t get me wrong; I had a good time, and I’m glad I went, but I’ve enjoyed past concerts more than this one. Part of it was that Shane E. was sick and not singing much. Part of it was that I was really tired, and I started to go into introverted mode somewhere toward the end of the first opening band, which meant that I was kind of ready to leave by intermission. And part of it was Shane B. dropping the bomb that he is engaged. To Bethany Dillon. Who is literally 18 years old, making her over a decade younger than he is.

Now, hear me very clearly here. I have no problem with the age discrepancy. And not that I know her personally, but she’s very talented, and she seems to be pretty decent. And I’ve met Shane one time (he signed my Bimbo bear), so he really doesn’t know me from Adam’s house cat, but even if we had known each other from birth, I’ve never found him particularly attractive physically (though I would marry his voice in a heartbeat), so it’s not like I had any fanciful notions of marrying him myself (not really). But when he said that they were engaged, a little part of me died inside. Just like when I found out Bebo’d gotten hitched.

I think it’s just having the knowledge that another talented, solid, eligible Christian man has been taken off the market. And then the subsequent thought that I am 27 with no prospects or plans to lower my standards, and the pool of said bachelors has just gotten smaller. Whilst an 18-year-old has just gotten engaged. I swear if she has someone play “At Last” at her wedding…

Maybe Dawn’s right, and my biological clock is ticking. I think I’ll consider that further over a pint…of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Oh Matt, come quickly, and rescue me from my imminent death by chocolate…and heartache.

(She falls, faint, onto the bed, dropping both ice cream and chocolate-covered spoon to the floor. Full stage blackout. Curtain.) 

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