yaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnn
I dread the day when I start waking up naturally at like five in the morning and am just awake. I’m not sure I’ve blogged about my own personal hell before, but basically it consists of a very humid concrete room with no windows and fluorescent lighting, where birds are flying around everywhere, Amy Grant is constantly singing “Baby Baby,” and I am not allowed to sleep. Oh, and maybe there are cute boys around, but my face is all broken out, and I don’t have any eyeliner. Maybe.
Anyway, for the last several nights, I have had the most restless sleep of my life. I sleep, but it doesn’t feel like it. I wake up to roll over, and the numbers on the clock have changed, but I feel like I was awake the whole time. And then about an hour before my alarm goes off, I finally start snoozing really good…just in time for Bill and Sheri to wake me up playing “Baby Baby” or my other favorite, “Your Body is a Wonderland.” Thanks guys. ‘Preciate it.
Sigh. Oh how I long for the nights of meerkats and knife-wielding toddlers. Although, I did have a very bizarre one recently in which I had a handlebar mustache, but that didn’t stop Jon Favreau from asking me out in the parking lot of the church.
Anyway, I’m off to bed now. Wish me luck in the sleep department. I could really go for some B-list celebrity action just now. Perhaps (fingers crossed) an Ethan Embry?!?
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